Not a Bother
I have this thing where I don't want to be a bother, to the point that it's a flaw and actively interferes with my life. Which is great (sarcasm.)
I don't know where it comes from or how to came to be, but it's this feeling of "but what if I bother them?" that prevents me from making phone calls for myself, or asking for things that I want or need. And sometimes it's irrational. For example, I need to make a dentist appointment, but my brain says "but what if I bother them" even though that's literally what they are there for. Or, another example, I want someone to return a book I loaned them, because I want to reread it, and I can't because "what if I bother them?" (These are both actual, current examples)
I can make phone calls for other people, no problem, in my capacity at work. Because then it is my job to bother people, especially when it comes to making sure students have rides home at dismissal time or get picked up after being sick. I have the authority to bother them. But in a personal capacity? What authority do I have to bother people?
It's especially bad in personal relationships. I care about the person and so don't want my desire or need to disrupt them. So instead I just suffer on my own, or I don't express how I feel and end up letting them think I don't care when the opposite is true (I am the worst big sister and don't call my brothers often enough).
Sometimes, in emergency situations, I can push through that feeling and get something taken care of. Like an emergency car repair I have to set an appointment for, or calling a brother for dating advice I feel I desperately need immediately.
I guess that makes it similar to my procrastination issue. 🤔